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Austin Sanderson

Feelings of Powerlessness

Urban Sadhu Exploration August 2024





So’ham

Meaning: I Am (identification with Infinity)


As I sit here writing this, for the first time in my life I can say that I am experiencing an overwhelming sense of anxiety, fear, and powerlessness regarding the current political climate. When it comes to politics, I have never been particularly anxious, and I have always felt that the concept of feeling powerful or powerless is subjective. That is because, as Americans, we believe that we have some power through activism, voting, and participating in the political system. In many other countries, citizens do not have those powers. We, as Americans, also have the power to reject and opt out of participating; we can renounce political activism, voting, and getting involved. The option not to get involved is also a power. Some countries force their citizens to participate in artificial, theatrical acts of patriotism – think North Korea or the Islamic Republic of Iran. No American is forced to wear an American flag pin.

 

But what happens when that ability to choose is taken away and we are left knowing that our activism, voting, or participation is impotent? Or even worse, when we sense the possibility that we may soon be forced to wear an American flag pin on our lapel just to fit into a new national political vision? 

 

In recent months, Americans have watched the United States Supreme Court deliver ruling after ruling that has swept away the rights of ordinary citizens and put absolute power into the hands of a few, themselves included.

 

We have watched the high court dismantle affirmative action (a set of policies and practices within government and institutions that aim to level the playing field for marginalized groups) leaving those who are looking to lift themselves from systemic racism with less power to do so. The court upended the legal right to abortion, which has sent shock waves through the country and made pregnant women, doctors, and healthcare providers powerless in the face of an extreme religious ideology. In a shocking decision, the court has made homelessness and sleeping on public streets a crime. The homeless, those who have fallen on hard financial times, and those who have addiction or mental health issues are some of our most vulnerable and powerless citizens. Sleeping on the street is not a choice, an inconvenient decision to camp in a public space – only a Supreme Court justice who is out of touch with real-world issues and drunk on their supremacy could believe that. We have seen Justice Clarence Thomas promote a dangerous interpretation of the Second Amendment to include assault weapons, which are designed only to kill humans; this is a clear message that he cares little for the safety of those who have not armed themselves as if they are part of a doomsday militia. The Supreme Court Justices have legally made themselves experts on all matters, with no need for facts, science, or experts in any given field; this gives them the green light to start dismantling institutions like the EPA, FDA, and the US Department of Education. We have watched this court turn the office of the President of the United States into a monarchy, with a king who has little or no fear of criminal prosecution for any act while in office; the Supreme Court justices have become kingmakers and see themselves as the power and authority behind America’s new authoritarian throne. That throne is only accessible to corporations, white Christian nationalist ideologues, and the ultra-wealthy who can buy, bribe, and shmooze their way into the circles of power from which most of us are excluded.

 

Has George Orwell’s vision in Animal Farm come true? Do we now live in a landscape where those in power care only about maintaining power by any means necessary; and where they are free to oppress the lower classes, women, minorities, and powerless individuals who do not agree with their toxic vision? Orwell’s slogan “All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others” suddenly seems to describe our country uncomfortably well. Maybe America has always been that way, but now the silent thoughts are being shouted out loud.

 

I write all this because I need you to know that after fifteen years of deep yoga sadhana practice, I still experience anxiety, fear, and powerlessness over the state of the country and the world. When I began my yoga practice many years ago, I had to realize that I could not change or control the world, but I could only change and control myself and my actions. I had to realize that no mantra I chanted was going to magically make those in power more compassionate, but the mantra could make me more compassionate. I had to accept that no matter how many hours of meditation I clocked in, there would be times that I would be overcome with fear and dread, my eyes filled with tears at the thoughts of the wrath that those who hold real political power have and will continue to inflict on the rest of us who have an illusion of political sway.

 

I wish I could tell you that the yoga gods of love and light are going to come and save us, but they are not (nor will a third-party candidate). To be clear, this is no time for spiritual bypassing from teachers like myself: the truth of the matter is, that the yoga gods of love and light are quickly being overcome by dark forces with a vision of totalitarianism. We, the citizens, just trying to live life, have very few responses at hand to fight this type of tyranny that works behind closed doors that we are so often locked out of. But we do have some options and tools at hand.

 

As yogis, yes, we must continue our yoga sadhana practice – it is what keeps us grounded and centered during uncertain times. This includes but is not limited to being active in the Satsang (your yoga community) for support and practicing meditation to calm the mind's fears and anxiety. We can dive deep into our yoga asana practice to help us stay strong and increase endurance. We need to remember to breathe – when we are afraid, we stop breathing, we hold our breath. Breathing deeply and fully allows us to overcome fear. We must stay in the moment, and try not to get caught up in the narratives of “long ago” or “somewhere in the future”; to defeat this we must be present in the “here and now.” Also, remember that for it to be yoga, we must have a higher intention that guides the yoga sadhana. Quoting Sharon Gannon, “May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some small way to that happiness and freedom for all” has always been a high intention, but now it has some added urgency.

 

As spiritual activists, become informed rather than running away from the hard issues at hand. Become comfortable talking to family and friends and convince them to see the importance of taking action – not just in this next election cycle but in a time when the world itself is in Code Orange. Make sure you are registered to vote and get others to register. Be willing to stick with the effort that is going to have to be made to defend our rights, freedoms, and lives, because these issues and problems will not resolve themselves overnight. And most of all, we must believe in the Self and the power of the Self: in troubled times, sometimes the Self is the most powerful power we possess.


Austin Sanderson – Urban Sadhu

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